By Way Of An Apology

sorry

The story goes of a woman who stumbled upon a tape of her husband and another lady. She narrows said lady, sends her a mysterious invitation to dinner, and meets at the restaurant. While waiting for the meals, and with the lady still racking her senses on how she knows the woman, the woman shows her the video.

The lady pushes her chair back and falls to both knees, fingers clasped. Her words come out incoherently. Dinner that day ends with the woman finding a friend in the lady.

Not so for the woman’s husband. Husband, after discovering he’s been found out, takes it upon himself to practice a new routine of gifts buying – necklaces, chains, shoes, sneakers, cooking utensils. He buys the globe for the woman.

A month on and without a word from the woman, someone asks her, “Why did you forgive the mistress and not your husband?”

No eyelids batted, the woman says, “The stupid guy couldn’t even say sorry.”

Story ends.

Point of the story, one should never assume people understand one’s method of saying sorry. That I send you a truckload of gifts without mouthing the words, “I am sorry,” might, more often than not, mean I’m not sorry.

So, guys, I am sorry. Yeah, I said it.

The easiest thing a writer could do is offer excuses for not writing – I had series of tests and now I am preparing for exams; there was no light; I felt sapped out, like I had emptied and I needed a refilling; there was no new read, and books are the writer’s fuel; Debbie broke up…

Did you get that? Debbie, dearest girlfriend, broke up… Almost broke up. Wanted to break up with me. But, it did not occur. The village people played an offside here.

Thing is, there is really no reason for not writing. Excuses has never, and will never live up as a synonym for reason. A thousand excuses might abound, but not one reason. Good, solid, reason. I recall the beginning days as a blogger, how I posted twice a week, struggling once a while to meet the demand. Months wore on and I settled on a weekly sharing. School crept in and weekly took a cut. Even at once in two weeks, I haven’t exactly churned out really interesting, hooking content.

Until Debbie.

Exams are rapping the door now, intent on breaking it down. Exams mean – no writing, no graphics design, praying with one eye closed and the other on the course outline, spooning rice with a calculator, waking and feeling a bang in one corner of the head. Exams mean many things.

But, exams this time mean something different. One of those is write. I will write and write. I will write about Debbie, about the close breakup, the rekindling, about winning a short story competition (low budget), crying at the laptop, writer friends, the dusty academic track, about everything worth hearing.

About the few short stories I read in September and October, maybe.

Now, I sit at the laptop, looking at this post that’s just shy above one page, listening as faithful, faithful explodes into the air from a friend’s phone, and I’m asking, what’s the best way to end a post that’s supposed to be an apology. The bees are buzzing, here’s what they are buzzing. Here’s what I’m leaving you, dear reader, with, till the next post (should come in a number of days).

I am sorry.

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