I’m Angry and I Don’t Care

“Now, you listen.”
“Ma, I’m sorry, but I have to –”
She cut me off with a raise of her hand, palms outward. “Why didn’t you carry us along? Why were they not informed?”
“There was no one to inform ma. Don’t you get it? I was alone. Alone.”

What followed was an outburst of words and stamping of feet. I hate getting angry, primarily because I’m of the opinion that anger seizes control of the emotion, the passion, and the self. All it requires is a little seep in, and the table is turned.
However, when the scene I shared was playing itself into reality, I didn’t stop to think. It happens to me. A lot. Get angry, release torrent of syllables, then withdraw minutes later to examine if what I did was right or wrong.
Writing on anger, or psychological issues is far from being my forte, but I had to do this. The first day I heard the lyric, I’m angry, and I don’t really care what they say, I almost endured a seizure. Don’t listen to this, my logic seemed to be communicating. There are a lot of things that the logic can’t control though.

I'm angry
Minutes later, I was whispering the beats of the song (the words were sung too fast). If you haven’t heard it, kindly do. And while I don’t promote, Lecrae is an artiste who shares the truth.
Back to the anger matter. Growing up, I wasn’t given a chance to defend myself. The trend was ‘defend yourself, and mete more punishment on your head.’ That bad. So, when the opportunity for self-expression was handed, I took it by the horns. A little opposition, and I’d flared up.

Can’t forget the tepid night my mum drew me away from the candlelight and delivered a stern warning that I never yell at her again. Haven’t since then. Likely because I don’t get angry, and the weightier factor the fact that there is a mutual understanding between mum and I.

But outside the home, it gets hard to be real. You know, there’s this way of thinking – if you are angry, keep it to yourself. Fume privately. Boil. Don’t let anyone know you are raging inside.
I can’t do that.
And I’m not afraid to write it.
I’d be dead if I try it thrice.
What then do you suggest I do?

Well, thinking back on the incident that occurred earlier today (Sunday), I realized that being angry isn’t inevitable. I mean, Paul writes, be angry, but sin not. The sun must never set on your anger.

I came to an awareness while preparing to write, that we’ve been crafted and formed in the image of One whose anger endures but for a moment. I remember some event months back where an associate referenced something that would infuriate, but I was so distracted that I didn’t allow the emotion well up. Minutes later, I was laughing with this same associate.

Some might attach this to temperament – Sanguines are less susceptible to anger than Cholerics, and Phlegs have no issue with anger. Wrong! Wrong!! Anger isn’t a subject of temperament.
Cos you aren’t.

You, as well as I, are crafted in the image of God – His anger lasts a moment – and whilst God’s fury means terrible trouble, He doesn’t flare at each offensive behavior. Were it not so, I wouldn’t be scripting this article now.

And that’s what we gonna do. We walk in the image of our Father, who is full of compassion, slow to anger, and of great mercy. It’s awesome, knowing that others do not determine if we take offence or not.

I decide today, not just to keep silent while in truth I’m furious, but not to get furious at all. That is hard, but not impossible. What about you? Do you intend working on your anger issues?
Afterword: Thank you for reading, for being faithful readers. Kindly share this post.
References: Psalm 30:5, Ephesians 4: 26-27.


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