If I could drown


It surged. Down the cemented floor, beyond a pool contaminated with oil, the water surged. Ten feet away, I watched as the man before me slipped on the slab and would have hit his head but for the hands that grabbed him. Instantaneously, fears surfaced that existed not. I turned back, away from the sight that nursed anxiety into the faces of compatriots who delved into songs to denote a spiritual acts. Underneath though, they were all scared.

With my face to the officiating pastor, someone tapped me and I took the hint. Taking frantic and likely tentative steps forward, I slipped up leather sandals on the concrete and offered my hands to the helping minister who could determine my fate or faith.

Then, the fleeting thoughts transcended to reality.

He took my hands, confirmed my purpose for carrying out this act. When I gave a satisfactory answer at first try, he endorsed, gripped the base of my head and dipped me under. At that moment, I felt not the taste of ragged water sweeping across my face. I felt not my whole body submerging under the begrimed liquid flogging my skin. I felt not strong hands squeezing my fragile tarsals to maintain balance.

I felt nothing.

And it was over.

I was baptized. I am baptized.

Truly, it takes experience and in-depth honesty to describe something as real and emotive as this. While I was under the water, a part of me wanted to stay below, drowning in the lake (or river in my case) of love as Thomas Hunter and his comrades did in Circle series. The more adhesive part screamed a mute ‘Let me go. I didn’t volunteer for this.’

Now, it is done. I’m water baptized. And I’ve been wondering since then. What happens next? Given, our teachers foresaw this and lectured on how to live as baptized Christians, but, truth be told, theory takes decades to become practical.

It’s been two days, and I shouldn’t be posting something as such online, but I’m kinda worried. *I became a man twenty-four days early. I really trust in the Holy Spirit to help me live as I should, fully giving my life to Christ and obeying His every command. However, a bit of me entertains the thought of staying under, where nothing was felt. Where I knew that my life was in the hands of the One who gives Life.

And herein lies my ‘sorrow.

*I’d legally be an adult then…


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